I always think the worst. Always. No matter what the situation, I always imagine - and expect the worst to happen. I think I do it becuase, by expecting the worst to happen, if it doesn't or if it is even slightly less bad, it is still a relief.
Just after Christmas, My right breast started to ache. I assumed it was a cycle thing and that it would go away in a few days. It took me six weeks to wake up and realize that maybe I should see a doctor. During that time, I found a pea sized lump in my breast, right smack in the center of where the pain emanates from.
Now it is the size of a small marble.
I will be seeing my doctor on the 12th, and since I have had mammograms before, if another is ordered, at least we have a good baseline to compare with.
I am trying REALLY hard to stay positive. Lots of lumps are nothing, and since I have fibrous breasts already, my chances of having a nothing lump are better than most. Add to that, the lump is behind some scar tissue. So this could also just be a bit of inflamed scar tissue at work.
Regardless, Each time a spike of pain stabs through my breast I start to breath faster, my heart rate increases and I get light headed with the worry. I try really hard to just not think about it. After all, nothing can be done until I see the doctor, so I should not waste my time worrying about it.
I know it
could be nothing, but honestly? I am terrified that it's something.
Labels: healthy living