I'm giving myself a gift

My birthday is one month from today. I will be thirty years old. I am not dreading this birthday, nor do I feel old, However - my mother died from lung cancer at the age of 43.

I DO NOT WANT THAT.

For my birthday I am quitting smoking. It is simply the best gift I can give myself.

Now, I have tried over and over to quit. Ive done it cold turkey numerous times, Ive tried Zyban* and the patch. Right this moment I am on hold with my insurance company to see if the drug Chantix (Champix in Canada) is covered. The drug is taken over 12 weeks, and costs 60 dollars every two weeks and there is NO WAY we can afford it out of pocket.

Good news! She just came back and the drug IS covered. I will be making an appointment to see a doctor ASAP to get my prescription. Now that I have decided to quit smoking, I will be doing it as soon as possible, I am not waiting for my Birthday to come, I would like to already be a non smoker by then!

I am so excited. I only wish that there was some way to convince my husband to quit with me.

See. I have three small boys and a lot of anxiety. I believe that a lot of my problems stem from smoking. I get colds faster. Each time my back hurts, I worry I have lung cancer like my mom did. If I quit - I can get rid of so many of those worries! Plus we would be saving money!

After I get my prescription and am a non smoker, I can get back to worrying about real world things, like Thunder Storms and mesothelioma!

*I am quite worried. When I took Zyban, it WORKED, with Zyban, I was to take the pill for X number of days while smoking, then on a set day, quit smoking. By the time that set day came, I was so happy to be off cigarettes! I never wanted tot touch a smoke again. BUT. But. I had to keep taking the Zyban for a certain amount of time after wards. The problem is that as soon as I stopped smoking, I got sick. I lost the ability to focus my eyes and I was nauseated all the time. I couldn't move, I was so ill. As soon as I stopped taking the Zyban and began smoking again, all was well ...except that I was still smoking!

Champix works in a similar way. I need to take the pills for one week before quitting, so I am worried the same thing will happen! I will keep in mind that the two drugs have different active ingredients that work in different ways to help stop smoking!

(I am aware that here is a class action suit against the makes of Chantix and Champix, I do not feel that I am at risk of becoming suicidal on the pills but appreciate that I know the risk and can watch for the signs!)